If You Want To, Then You Should

Sometimes I struggle with the idea of being a writer. Even nights like tonight, as I sit clacking away on my new laptop that works like a dream, it kind of feels like I'm forcing this a little bit.

And yet, I carry on.

At weird times on a daily basis, I flash through parts of my story that I feel ready to share, ideas whizzing around my head dying to be formed into tweets or random outbursts or blog posts. But those times seem so fleeting, and I either don't write the idea down and lose it forever or I do write it down and actually despise it when it's revisited later on. The ideas that make it out into the world via spoken word ("Hey, I'm thinking of writing a Girls Style Guide, would you read it?") are more likely to live permanently as a piece of writing.

In those times that I'm doubting myself, I have a handful of people I can turn to who make me feel like my thoughts and words are actually worth something. And that's really nice. I think every creative person should have a support system like that.

I mentioned my friend supporting my writing by inspiring me to start making lists of things (if I remember correctly, she told me I was hilarious and thought I'd be capable of making funny and relatable lists - I'm paraphrasing, of course). She's a gentle push to write when I need it.

Then there's the friend who gets me through my day-to-day. Someone who won't tell me an idea is dumb, but instead hint that I'm better than that. She's the beacon of hope during my I-feel-stuck-in-a-rut-and-I'm-incapable-of-being-creative moods.

And of course, there's the fiancé, who always tells me "If you want to do it, I think you should do it." On paper, it's such a simple response. But he means it. I can get so wrapped up in my own head, deliberating whether or not I should say or do something. He grounds me in reminding me that if I want to, then I should.

In the spirit of not forcing this, I'll leave it at that. Because I want to.

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