I Don't Know What I Want To Be When I Grow Up | Dream Job

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. This is super problematic, because I'm a grown up.

I feel like I had a small, internal breakdown today because I don't know what I want to do with my life. In an effort to find an answer, I turned to Danielle (as I so often do) for advice. "What should I be?"

"Be a writer. Write a book," she said, already annoyed with me as I had spent a good 5 minutes expressing how badly I wish I could be a mermaid.

I feel like I don't have a dream job and that scares me. When I was little, I had an amazing first grade teacher, Mrs. D'Angelo. I felt like she did everything a teacher was supposed to do (including giving me her home address on the last day of school, because I had a meltdown that we would lose touch). Watching her teach with this effortless grace made me want to teach, too.

Somewhere down the line, the dream of being a teacher changed into a dream of being an actor; a journalist; a spy; a reality television star; a stand-up comedian.

Obviously, I didn't study to become a teacher, or any of those things. Amidst all of this reminiscing and internal mumbo jumbo, I stumbled across this very telling fortune:  You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.

And back to the one thing I know I'm good at; back to writing I go.

I guess being a writer is my dream job, but not the kind of writer I am right now. I want my work in reputable publications. I want to write my own fictional book. I feel like I've read enough to create a half-decent novel. I've also read enough no-good, horrible, very bad writing so as to avoid stupid mistakes and downright boring storytelling. Plus, writing is therapeutic for me. I literally stumble over my words on daily basis, but when I write, I can express myself more calmly and coherently.

I also want to write an autobiography. I want to go on a book tour.

I guess these are my dreams. I guess I have to stop feeling like I need to find a dream job and instead take advantage of my current talents. BRB, looking up literary agents.